by Jodi Freedman
We have all heard the stories about doctors making the worst patients. Apparently, this cliche crosses professions. Lately, I have found that I am not the volunteer that I would like to be! We have all had the experience of volunteers who don’t make it in when they have said they will. Or the volunteer who is late for their time. I know how frustrating this is for staff and for volunteer managers who are expecting the volunteer. Yet, with a full time job and a family, it is sometimes hard to make it to our volunteer commitments. It is not that I am not excited to volunteer. It is not that I don’t value the organization or the staff who are counting on me. It is just simply a lack of time! Perhaps I need to be better at saying no! I find myself agreeing to volunteer and then dragging myself to the set volunteer appointment. I always enjoy the experience and come away glad that I went, but it is a constant inner struggle to get myself there. For example, there is the time that I am supposed to spend in my daughter’s first grade class. It seems that when I do manage to sneak out of work for an hour, she is thrilled to have me there. More often than not, though, I can’t get away. Luckily, her teacher knows how busy I am and has agreed to go along with my “show up when you can” plan for volunteering. So, last blog, I spoke about firing volunteers. Have I become the type of volunteer that should be fired? I certainly hope not, but I am curious to hear your responses.
Jodi Freedman is a Major Gifts Specialist at the Maine Chapter of the Alzheimer’s Association.
Hey Jodi –
I’ve been there. I was co-facilitating support groups of cancer survivors. Although it was only an every-other-week schedule, after a couple of years of it, I reached the point that my mind began to wander when I was supposed to be focusing on what the participants were saying and expressing and feeling. I concluded that if I couldn’t be “fully present” maybe I should get out and let someone newer and “fresher” take over. So I did. Now I’ve managed to volunteer in a way that allows me to do what I do best…but now it’s the press of time – not kids, but my job. So the vol gig becomes like the job – flitting from one thing to the other and doing them all at a level below my desired standard.
I’d say your kids are really important and YOU should decide on the best way to spend your “free” time. I’m trying to do that myself.
Larry
Oh, Jodi, I do so understand your dilemma. One of the characteristics of ‘super volunteers’ is a fierce internal watchdog on personal standards of excellence. They/we are driven by a powerful internal drive to make a difference, regardless of the external benefits, i.e. paycheck. We need to make sure that the internal benefits are worth the commitment of time and energy.
When volunteering becomes a burden, then it ceases to meet the personal need that motivates it in the first place. Then it’s time to get out.
You hit the nail on the head. I recently arranged to step back from my responsibilities with a group as I found myself in the situation you describe. I wondered if it wasn’t that I was doing similar work there that I do each day at the office. I’m staying with them, but I’m going to look for something slightly different to do. Thanks for a great post!
To both of you – you are TODAY’s volunteers. This is what Margaret and I have been saying – today’s volunteers are busy, engaged people. It’s the managers or recruiters of volunteers that have to realize that THEY aren’t doing anything wrong and that there are NO bad volunteers. This is just what it’s like out there.
Competition for jobs and the job market itself makes it imperative that people pay attention and give 150% so they have a job. Society requires parents to give their children 150% of their time or they face prison for child abuse. We’ve raised awareness of the value of volunteering to the point that it, too, becomes a requirement for a full and useful life and that is supposed to top on the list.
A wise and “all knowing” manager of volunteers wouldn’t call either of you bad and would welcome you with open arms – just not to the typical volunteer opportunity of the early 1900′s.
No one is wrong here – things have changed and are still changing so we have to switch our vision to match the real world.
Penny
Joan, I think your point is a good one. The last thing I want to do when I volunteer is the same thing I’ve been doing all day at work, but the tendency when someone has a particular skill set is to want to put that to work for the volunteer program.
I guess that we all feel this struggle. Thank you all for making me feel better about my inconsistencies with volunteering.
Joan and Carla, it is true that we tend to look for volunteers with certain skill sets, (i.e. a banker to be the treasurer of a board), but we may be doing the volunteers an injustice. Volunteering should be both rewarding and enjoyable.
I too can identify with this issue.
I’ve been volunteering with a local organization for years, and I don’t want to stop even though my other commitments have changed. However, I am consistently putting them on the back burner. Jodi, Thank you for sharing! Your post helped me to release some of my personal guilt and focus my energy more towards figuring out how to change the situation going forward.